Thursday, August 8, 2013

so behind, preschool, foster care, and other updates

Why is it that most of my posts are turning into updates instead of my day to day journaling I used to do - oh I know I have a 3 year old now!  Whom I love and adore and am working on improving my blogging endeavors.  But I'm determined to document this milestone in my boys life... preschool.  Boy how he has been excited for school, now my job is to keep that excitement going as the days and years go on.  I got this new homeschool curriculum that I LOVE called the Heart of Dakota. It is Bible based and Christ Centered education and I'm all for that.  I am getting around to planning my morning routine where we have our morning devotional, chores, and kid time (ie me teach and interacting with Max).  This is a work in progress.

Here are pictures of my dearest - and can I just saw - how cute is this kid?  He is so much fun and the other night at dinner he totally was having a conversation with us.   Some fun things I want to remember about Max at this age....

He says, "Where is you" instead of where are you
The other day he said, "You build it (fort) like Daddy do, how cool"
He is constantly trying to negotiate with us, and it's apparent I need to be a little more firm and consistent
He LOVES legos!  Now if only he could build them with out needing help all the time (he is getting better)
For some reason he keeps saying he is a bad guy? huh - how could he think that about himself??  After getting curious he informed me that bad guys help people and animals and are nice - can you say backwards here.  He also said that bad guys are good.  This must have stemmed from some conversation he had with Daddy about police men pulling over a guy on a motorcycle.  Merrill said the guy on the motor cycle was bad and make started associating everyone on a motorcycle as bad.  In my attempt to "fix" this I was telling Max people can look bad but be good or that people who are good can do bad things.  Yes way too complicated for a 3 year old. 
And for the record can I just tell you what a rock star talker our boy is.  This guy can talk in sentences now and you can totally understand what he is saying! 

Okay enough of me blabbing - here are pictures from today or rather this morning hence the "I just woke up look in his eyes" - I took these at like 7:30 am because I wanted to make sure I got them before the baby woke up - gasp - keep reading on I'll tell you more

Can you tell he likes Cars?  His shoes, sock, shirt and backpack pretty much scream it.

I have to admit I was a proud mama when I picked up this little guy from preschool today. He couldn't wait to show me what he had made.  Um - I need to get more on board with this kid craft stuff!  Oh, and to note this moment for future reading - it broke my heart just a bit when I tried to hold his hand to walk him to the door and he pushed it away, but at least he isn't to big yet to kiss me good buy.  I'm dreading the day, but I totally get it.

Here are two of his 3 papers he brought home

Onto other news - yes we have a baby in the house.  Sweet little d is the name we have for this darling little.  It's a sad story that is attached to little d but I am telling you after 6 days this baby is making a come back! It warms my heart to see such a transformation in such a short time.  I wish I could put it all down here but I can't.   So instead I will say this - To me there are two worlds (to keep things simple) - one I live in that is happy but I often take for granted and one that I could hardly fathom.  Being made aware of that kind of world really puts things into perspective and where I once felt irritation or whatever negative thing I was thinking has completely melted away as I realized how extremely blessed I am.  I am so grateful for my parents who loved me and raised me and made sacrifices for me so I could learn to love and trust other humans.  I am so immensely grateful for God in my life.  He is my anchor and I full heartily trust that He is always looking out for us and He has a hand in the details of our lives.   I am so grateful for my family - for a husband who is a rock start and my partner in this life.    What's even better is that we know each other and all our flaws and we still love each other.  And oh how I love my boy - he has given me a sense of purpose and a joy in motherhood.  I am so grateful I get to pour all the love God and my family has given me into this little baby.  My hope and prayer is that no matter what happens on his journey that he will remember that he was once loved and cared for in a healthy way and that there is a different way of living that doesn't include pain or hurt but love and kindness.  That he can hold on to that hope of something better he once experienced in our home if he were to ever find himself back in a dark place and his former life.  Say a prayer for little d.  The only thing that keeps me going is trusting that God knows and that He has a plan for each one of our lives, even little d's. 

In the meantime we are busy with lots of doctor apts and visits from all kinds of people who are tied to the case.  I can barely make it out of the house on days without feeling like am throwing a wrench into all my hard work with this little one so I'm getting by and doing lots of shopping on line.  Making sure I cuddle with Max more, because wow having two is a whole new world of challenges but we are getting through and finding success.   I've got to get this baby sleeping through the night because this waking up at 3 am thing is not working for me because I can't go back to sleep - hence why I am writing this post.  So that will be my new objective these next couple of nights.  

Oh and we put an offer on a house - wish us luck.  I feel really good about this one, but God willing it will work out :)

Life is Good!

And I just love this picture! So here's a bonus for you.   Aren't you loving this beautiful rainy/over cast mornings these last couple of days?  We have.