Thank you to all those who sent me your addresses too - I have over 150 New Year Cards addressed, stamped, and patiently waiting for Dec 30th to roll around to be put in the mail. I thought it better to send our cards after all the Holiday Cards so they stand out a bit more. Next on the list is to make some little hand outs to pass out to OB/GYN and Counselors. The thought of that is pretty overwhelming when you think about having to contact the people and then take the information to them, but hopefully it will pay off somehow. If anyone has any other ideas or would like some hand outs to give to your Docs I would be happy to send some to you. So thank you all again for your love and help and if you haven't done so yet and would like to help us in our search please go to our FB page and "like" it.
What's interesting is the more I get involved in the search process the more anxious I get about the whole thing. Our LDS profile has been up for 6 months now and to be honest I haven't thought about it a ton. But after starting this FB page I have found myself getting really worried and anxious and am being reminded that all of this is in God's hands. Today I came across two people who are pregnant with more children and I found myself annoyed... which is weird because that hasn't ever bothered me the way it did today. Why I was so annoyed I asked myself? It was because both of these ladies just had kids - and here they are pregnant again and it just seemed to be so easy for them. But for me - it's not. I have to wait... and wait.... and wait. I have to wait to be chosen, wait for the baby to be born, wait for papers to be signed, wait for it to be legalized, and then wait to be sealed in the Temple. And I was sad that I have no idea how long I'm going to have to wait for this next baby. Part of me secretly wishes we get a call in the middle of the night with our case worker saying we have a baby for you (but rarely happens these days). I see other babies and I long for one and yet I seem to have no control over it all. The only thing I can do - is spread the word and pray that it's in God's plan that we are blessed with another baby within a reasonable time ie 2012 and not 2/3 years from now (which is often the norm).
As I was crying and praying to Heavenly Father for comfort I got a call from my friend Kim who said she just felt like she needed to call me and I immediately thanked my Heavenly Father for bringing me a friend. I told her I was just having a moment and realized that there are many blessing I get to enjoy that others won't ever experience and I was just trying to remind myself of that. After she hung up I was reflecting up how quickly my prayer was answered and I had a small impression that Heavenly Father knows me. He knew what I needed and He responded and I just got this feeling of peace that He knows how everything will come to be with this next adoption. He knows when our next baby will arrive and He knows the desires of our hearts. All my anxiety went away because I know that He knows what is best all around and that He will perform His work in His due time. I realized that instead of worrying about when our next baby will arrive I want to focus on what I can do to prepare myself, family, and home to welcome our next child. I am learning to make His will my own... but it's not easy... but it seems to be a lot more peaceful
1 comments:
Holy moly... I needed this today. Thank you. I found your cute blog after seeing your adorable adoption profile online. We too are hoping to adopt and I feel like your post, this post, is EXACTLY what I needed right now. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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